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Alas. Someone who took my blood without leaving my bruised. To the left is my left arm drawn yesterday. To the right is my right arm with the left side bruise drawn last Monday and that tiny dot to the left drawn today. This guy is my new favorite. #HealthProblemz

Alas. Someone who took my blood without leaving my bruised. To the left is my left arm drawn yesterday. To the right is my right arm with the left side bruise drawn last Monday and that tiny dot to the left drawn today. This guy is my new favorite. #HealthProblemz

— 1 day ago
#healthproblemz 
I look like a druggie

Did I also mention that I’ve had bloodwork done 3 times in the past 8 days? And that every time it’s done it bruises. Plus my B-12 booster bruised. And I have two other random bruises.

…yeah. I look special right now.

— 1 day ago
#a good special 
Is it next Monday?

My rheumatologist is pretty cool. Considering I wasn’t jumping off the table, I must have seemed pretty tame. Turns out only 1% of people who test positive with their ANA have an autoimmune disease and 5-6% test positive. So while I’m already one of those extremely rare ones, the chances are slim that anything else shows up.

Now I’m just waiting more for bloodwork results to rule out all other options. I start with my physical therapist on Monday. Now I just need to make it through this week. Oh did I mentioned I’m doing a whirlwind trip to Cali this week? Literally there one day, red eye the next. If I even leave my couch this weekend it will be a miracle. Hopefully I’ll have the strength to get up on Monday.

— 1 day ago
It is Monday

And I did go to the doctor. And they did actually find something. It wasn’t exactly the thing I was suspecting, but it reassures that I am not crazy. The pain I feel is justified. My C-reactive protein is high. I tested positive for ANA direct. It could be a false positive. My cortisol is high. My b 12 is low. Now for 4 weeks, I get to go in for b 12 booster shots.

And tomorrow, I was fortunate enough to score an appointment with a rheumatologist.

Next step, here we go.

— 2 days ago with 1 note
#some progress is better than no progress 
Made a double batch of my chicken cornbread pie to break in my new pie pan from @sstephhpparrr

Made a double batch of my chicken cornbread pie to break in my new pie pan from @sstephhpparrr

— 3 days ago
Thank you Bob for being the best car ever for the past 9 years. You got me through high school and college and we started our adult life together. I’m sad that we’ll never get to see 98,765 miles together but we tried our best. I hope your next owner loves you just the same and enjoys all your little quirks. It’s time to move forward to a new car. It’s not me, it’s you. You served your duty and you deserve a nice retirement now. Goodbye Bob.

Thank you Bob for being the best car ever for the past 9 years. You got me through high school and college and we started our adult life together. I’m sad that we’ll never get to see 98,765 miles together but we tried our best. I hope your next owner loves you just the same and enjoys all your little quirks. It’s time to move forward to a new car. It’s not me, it’s you. You served your duty and you deserve a nice retirement now. Goodbye Bob.

— 3 days ago

It’s funny. Today, I woke up feeling like a log with spaghetti limbs. I got myself out of bed eventually, my massive headache from yesterday returned. I was sure I’m getting sick, because my nose is stuffy and I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, but maybe, just maybe this is what flare ups feel like for me. I got work and took a 500mg of Extra Strength Tylenol thinking if I had a small fever or anything it would go away with this for sure. Well, I was wrong, no pain changed, no feeling changed, I just felt drained to the maximum.

When it was lunch time it was time to break out the big guns, a can of caffeinated soda. It was the only way I wouldn’t feel like I was dragging anymore. And guess what, I feel better. It must be a flare up. My muscles feel better, my head feels a little better, it all feels a little better. My brain is still in a fog, I have a thought and forget it 3 seconds later. I can’t remember anything I have to do at work today and when I do, I start to do it and then think of something else and then 10 minutes later try to remember what I was doing in the first place. Could that be Fibro Fog?

Out of the options my doctor seemed to be weighing the fact that the words Fibromyalgia came straight out of her mouth gave me some form of hope. I’d been considering it for a year or more. I’ve done a bit of research in the past few days as I’ve had terrible sleep and my back feels like someone kicked it in. Anyway, I came across what’s called chronic myofascial pain or CMP. I never read about it because I linked myofascial with face and I only have jaw problems. It sometimes goes hand in hand with Fibro. The funnier thing is my symptoms match both to a tea. I don’t like to over play my pain, it’s annoying and I don’t know what no pain feels like, but I’m not bed bound. I’m capable of still moving around and working. But I think it could be possible that I may have both. I’m the worst by trying to self-diagnose but I need to know the options. I’m thankful that my doctor is patient and really listens and analyzes what your issues may be.

I also made my first physical therapy appointment today. She also does acupuncture which I’ve always wanted to try. It might get costly since it’s a $30 co-pay per visit but I can’t keep living the way I am anymore. I need someone to give me a starting point because trying to figure it out on my own, just isn’t working.

— 6 days ago
#is it Monday yet?  #personal 
Is it Monday yet?

Normally, I wouldn’t care to rush to a Monday, however, I just want answers. I’m finally taking the steps to once again try and figure out what is wrong with me. I always chalked it up to my hormone imbalances but it simply didn’t change anything.

I can’t tell you the last time I didn’t feel pain. I have knots in almost every part of my body. I have muscle tension headaches almost daily. My jaw is frequently in pain. My back and shoulders pop, creak, and tense all day. My hips have lost range of motion and spasm if to move them to the side. My thighs feels my hips pain. I’ve had foot and calve issues in the past and it’s still an issue at times.

My appointment with my doctor went well. I’m scheduling physical therapy and acupuncture tomorrow. Now I just wait until Monday to go over my bloodwork. From our conversations I can guess that thyroid and fibromyalgia are her top suspicions. A random celiacs test thrown in as well as multiple vitamin levels: some I know to be low, others I suspect. The more research I do the more it makes sense.

I never considered it that bad, everyone is sore every morning and everyone has a sore back and shoulders? Right? But the more I read and more I learn, I think I just have to admit…

I have chronic pain.

— 1 week ago with 3 notes

thechronicpaingame:

my grandmother said something that’s resonated with me. she said “people don’t understand that when they’re ill, they go to sleep knowing they’ll wake one day soon feeling better. you have go to sleep every night hoping, and it never happens.”

— 1 week ago with 489 notes
Chronic pain is... →

chronicallypainful:

Chronic pain is getting out of bed half an hour after curling up under the blanket when you finally decide that, yes, you are hurting bad enough to take pain medicine.

Chronic pain is owning more heating pads than shoes.

Chronic pain is feeling more tired than upset when stabbing pain…

— 1 week ago with 75 notes

Pain, pain, go away, come again, never.

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#can't sleep 

trainquilize:

danosaurs-and-philions:

im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh

HOLY FUCK THIS

(via a-long-winded-fart-joke)

— 1 week ago with 499546 notes